how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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