He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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