And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
