i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
