the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
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The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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