How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
