Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
