There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize