I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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