I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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