I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
