I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize