A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you guys were way drunker than both of me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
