Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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