"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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