We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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