oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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