I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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