But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm really into asian looking animals
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
