all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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