So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
