Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
