we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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