I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
