I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
