we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
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I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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