Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
