would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
