We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
