just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
