I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
