I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
