so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
