oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
