this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
