I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
