I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
