Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
