I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
