Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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