I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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