me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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