good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
