ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
