ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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