I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
