I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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