He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
