also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
