well I can't set my house on fire every night
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
