so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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