It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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