I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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