I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
