I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
