New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
