i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
