You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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