Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
