This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
there is glitter all over my balls
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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