The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
